Panic! Absolutely Everywhere and Usually About Nothing

I totally realise that this post title is terrible SEO but I really don’t care.

The past few months have been extremely challenging for me, and time and time again I have found myself in new and stressful situations where I don’t know what to do. Where I’m so scared of messing up that I end up sitting for hours, accomplishing nothing, purely because I am worrying so much about messing up.

These past few months have seen my personal life absolutely fall to pieces, while my workload increases and academic deadlines approach. I was panicking about absolutely everything under the sun. Last week I cried because I couldn’t find an outfit for work, I also had a near breakdown about putting on 3lbs. Three measly pounds almost sent me toppling over the edge.

It has only been the past few days that I’ve managed to see past this cloud of worrying and self-doubt and actually put plans in place to start rebuilding my life, and improve and be the best I can be in all areas of it. I know I’m capable of accomplishing the tasks set in front of me, I just needed to wake up and bloody realise that and take it one step at a time.

If you feel like you’re drowning in your own life, here’s how I’ve handled it: I got a notepad and I wrote down absolutely everything I need to get done, breaking tasks down into the individual stages, and setting realistic times to accomplish them. Instead of thinking ‘I have to finish my entire essay today’, I will put separate tasks for research, writing a conclusion, etc. No matter how trivial the task, it goes on the list. Even if it’s buying toothpaste, get it written down.

Then, at the end of the day when I start thinking I haven’t done enough, I can see that I have, and I did, and that I AM going to meet my deadlines and I AM going to smash all my projects.

What’s also helped me are the people around me. Having someone tell you you’re not insane, and you are capable when you feel worthless means the world.

Lastly, I took the massive step in starting the process to move away. Not to the ends of the earth, just out of the small town I grew up in. I felt trapped and desperately needed a change, so, fingers crossed all the paperwork goes through, I’ll shortly be moving into a shared house just up the road from Brighton! I can’t contain my excitement for this, and will be sure to post updates and some wee homewares hauls ASAP.

Love, Aileen x


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